


no distance left to run

by agentlithium



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, friends to enemies to whatever the fuck they are now, it's a hurtin scene yall, not that sad but sad enough when paired with sad music to make me cry at 2 am, oswald is wine drunk and sweary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 07:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14303550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentlithium/pseuds/agentlithium
Summary: acquaintances drinking together.





	no distance left to run

**Author's Note:**

> this is my gonna be my fourth fic about sad boys getting drunk and my third about oswald crying. why. why am i like this. i got three and a half hours of sleep last night. i just had to write this. its garbage but i don't care we out here its like that sometimes enjoy

It had been a long day for Oswald. Only an hour or so ago, he was piloting a blimp over the river. His heart didn’t stop hammering in his chest until he was home and halfway through a bottle of wine. That was when Edward decided to drop by for an impromptu visit. He bore witness to the whole ordeal on the news and was apparently so incredibly eager to see Oswald in the wake of what was likely the single most terrifying event of his life. They had only just struck up something of a tentative truce, but both were not opposed to spending time together again. Whether unconscious or aware of the fact, they missed each other, or at least they missed pestering each other.

A melancholy song was coming from the old record player, filling the room with euphonious sound. Oswald was seated on the couch while Ed lounged in the armchair across from him. Both held crystal glasses of Merlot that had recently been topped off as they basked in the warmth of the nearby fire. Oswald took a large gulp of alcohol before speaking.

“Today has shaved years off of my life,” he grumbled.

“You poor thing.”

“Y’know, I hate you so fucking much,” Oswald’s words were already slurring together.

“Wow, Oswald, such harsh language,” Ed remarked, a false look of hurt on his face. Oswald rolled his eyes.

“You want to be a real criminal so bad. You want everyone to respect you, to know your name. But being a real criminal fucking sucks. Being a real criminal means dealing with the likes of Jerome fucking Valeska and his band of loonies and having to bite your tongue so they don’t cut it off and force feed it to you.” His animated gestures caused him to spill a few drops of wine on his sleeve, but he didn’t seem to notice or care. “I haven’t relaxed in four years. The closest thing I know to relaxing is drinking until I pass out every night. I’m surprised I haven’t had a fucking stroke or something yet. I’m so stressed out all the time. You don’t want that. You want all the benefits and none of the work.” Ed clapped his hand on his thigh lazily.

“What a rousing speech.”

“I had to fly a blimp today!  _ A fucking blimp! _ And then they just left me up there! I swear, someday I’m going to throttle Jim Gordon, the ungrateful son of a bitch. He’d be nowhere without me.” Somehow, Oswald still managed to carry an almost affectionate tone when talking about Jim.

“Please, we both know you’re not going to do anything to him,” Ed looked away from him. Oswald opened his mouth to object, but all he ended up with was a quiet snort of bitter laughter.

“I suppose not, but I can say that I will. I just hate that I keep letting him walk all over me. Well, you know what I’m like when I have a soft spot for someone. He saved my life,” Oswald turned his gaze to his lap. “I thought of him as a friend.”

“So did I,” said Ed.

“You’re the one who fucked him over in the first place.” Now it was Ed’s turn to try to defend himself, as futile as it might be. Ed did betray Jim’s trust. He honestly can’t even remember why he did it.

“He wasn’t really my friend. He was just nice to me out of pity.”

“He wasn’t my friend either. He wasn’t even nice to me, but I didn’t frame him for murder and put him in prison.”

“That’s because you’re lead by your emotions.” Oswald let out another barking laugh.

“And you aren’t? Speaking of, I heard you and Lee are an item.” Ed heard the less than subtle hint of disgust in Oswald’s voice.

“We are not an item. Even if we are, why do you care?”

“I just wanted to know how much you had to pay her. She’s miles out of your league,” Oswald stifled a grin as he watched the muscles in Ed’s face twitch as his jaw clenched. Getting any sort of rise out of Ed would surely be the highlight of his shitty day.

“She’s using you, Ed. That’s what I think.”

“We’ll see about that, and I don’t give a damn about what you think.”

“Sure.”

They were silent for a while after this. It was tense, but not hostile. Ed was obviously displeased with Oswald’s comments, even though he knew that was what Oswald wanted. To get under his skin. He didn’t want to think about Lee. She confused him too much. He took another swig from his glass. He observed Oswald who seemed to be off in a whole other world. The flickering firelight cast dancing shadows over his pallid face, orange flames reflecting brilliantly in his pale eyes. He looked exhausted, a lot worse than Ed had seen him in some time. When he snapped back to the present, Ed quickly averted his stare. He waited a few seconds, then he spoke.

“Do you-- do you ever think about leaving all of this behind? Just dropping everything and getting out of Gotham?” he asked.

“All the time. Every day I get closer to just saying ‘fuck it’ and getting the hell out of here. I’ve been doing the same shit for years and what do I have to show for it? I have money and power, but I have no friends, no free time-- everything is about work or simply staying alive. I haven’t been able to breathe in years. I know I said I trusted you, but a paranoid part of me still thinks this is all some elaborate ruse to weaken me and kill me. This is no way to live, not knowing who might turn on you, always having to watch your back,” Oswald sighed, running his hands over his face. “To make matters worse, all of this worrying is giving me grey hairs. I’m not even 35, and I’m going grey.”

For some odd reason, Ed’s stomach twisted when Oswald implied he still didn’t fully trust him. They really shouldn’t feel safe around one another at all, given their history, but Ed was hoping it would be easier to fall back into Oswald’s good graces.

“What will Gotham do without you if you leave?” This question sounded slightly more sarcastic than the last to mask Ed’s genuine concern.

“Burn, hopefully. This place is a godless hellscape. The sooner it’s destroyed, the better,” Oswald sipped his wine.

“I’ve wasted my whole life in this city, trying to get to the top of it. It’s a vicious cycle: I get too high and mighty, then I fall hard, then I’m forced to claw my way back up again and when I’m back on top, it seems like it’s all been worth it. I’m inevitably just going to lose everything again. I’ve lost so much more than I’ve gained already. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realize it.”

“This, your empire, wasn’t a waste of time by any means. Look at all you’ve done,” Ed offered as some sort of consolation. Oswald was right, though. He would give up all of his riches and influence in a heartbeat for safety, for comfort, for love.

“You don’t have to say that. I know that once I’m gone, I’ll be forgotten so quickly, it’ll make your head spin. All of this, all I sacrificed, has been for nothing,” Oswald croaked the last part. He was choking back tears.

“If you could start over, what would you do? Where would you go?”

Ed had seen Oswald cry enough. He wanted his inquiry to act as a distraction, and thankfully, it did. Oswald cleared his throat and sniffled.

“I don’t know. I’d change my name and move somewhere far away. Europe, probably. My mother was from Hungary, but I’ve always loved the Nordic countries personally.”

“What, are you planning on becoming a reclusive sheepherder in Iceland or something?” Ed joked. This actually made Oswald chuckle

“I don’t know, I just might. I’d like to start a small business. I’d get married to someone who loves me, maybe adopt a child-- that’s a  _ big _ maybe. I’d stay out of trouble too, or at least I’d try. I’d just like to be as carefree as any regular man. I don’t need extravagance or anything like that, I just want to be happy,” Oswald paused briefly and swallowed hard. “What about you? Would you leave Gotham behind?”

“I don’t think so. Not yet, anyway. There’s still a lot I need to do here. I have some big plans.” Oswald just nodded in response. Ed suddenly set his drink down, stood up, and walked over to the couch. He sat right next to Oswald wordlessly, their elbows brushing. They locked eyes and Ed gave Oswald a sort of sad look. It took them back to that night over a year ago, back when things were so much simpler. They sat on the very same couch where Ed professed he would do anything for Oswald. It was the night Oswald fell in love with him and he hadn’t stopped loving him since.

It was Ed who pressed himself closer to Oswald’s side. He allowed his former friend to cautiously rest his head upon his broad shoulder. He wrapped his arm around Oswald’s thin, shivering frame. Neither said anything. The music, slow and soft, lulled them further into a deep state of calm. For a fleeting moment, they could forget everything, pretend nothing had happened, pretend everything was okay. So, they both closed their eyes and pretended.

**Author's Note:**

> thx for reading i need to go to bed


End file.
